Climate Cafe

Keeping the Greens out of the 2008 Leaders Debate

Dream Conversation?

Broadcast consortium. “We think we might have to invite Liz to the party? Any ideas on getting out of this mess with the 2008 Leader’s debate?”

Steve. “Oh no, can’t have that, it’ll make Canadians want to learn more about Climate Change and make Stephane’s Green Shift ideas seem sensible. Got to keep people in the dark on that one. Keep ‘em thinking Stephane is loony, out there on the fringe, sneaking another tax on ‘em. Let’s call her Stephane’s mouthpiece. We couldn’t possibly be able to shift focus away from that issue if there were two parties talking about climate. No. No. No. I don’t want to debate her.”

Consortium. “Not good enough, could you offer us some help, we can’t exclude her because you don’t want her there. Why don’t you tell us, you won’t come to the leader’s debate.”

Steve. “I, I, …. I won’t come. That’s it, I’m not coming if she shows up. . . . Convincing? I’ll look wimpy.”

Consortium: “You could say you are having a bad hair day.”

Steve. “I’m not sure I like this idea. If I’m not there, they’ll all be talking that climate change nonsense and we won’t be able to refute it with our “Science” and economic doom and gloom talk.

Consortium. “Steve, you won’t really have to miss it, we could get everyone else to say they don’t want to come to the debate either. That way, we’ll surely have to leave her out.”

Steve. “Won’t we look bad if the public thinks we won’t show up because we don’t want to debate her. We need a better angle.”

Consortium. “Hmmmmm. The public would go crazy if all the parties chose not to come to the debate!”

Steve. “That’s it. We’ll Boycott the debates. That sounds better. Do you think we could convince Jack not to come?”

Consortium. “Are you kidding? The Greens have almost as much public support as the NDP. The last thing Jack wants is to stand beside Elizabeth. He doesn’t want to get hidden by her shadow. He’ll be in for the Boycott ruse.”

Steve. “What about the bloc? Help me remember, Why is Gilles in the debate again? After all, only Quebecers can vote for them? Did you ask our party if we’d boycott back when we let them in?”

Consortium. “Oh, no we didn’t bother with that. Nobody across Canada listens when he speaks at the debate anyway. Even the Quebec Nation. They will have heard him the night before. It’s like a commercial break. People need a bathroom break after listening to you boys. Remember, there are no commercials.”

Steve. “Don’t people wonder why he’s there?”

Consortium. “Have you ever seen Gilles? He wonders why he’s there!”

Steve. “Well it’s clear he’ll join the Boycott then.”

Consortium. “That’s the answer then. Thanks Steve, you’re a pal. So you’ll tell the media that you’d Boycott if we let her in?”

Steve. “Oh, no, we can’t do that. It has to be the Consortium’s decision to not invite her. And you can’t say that I or any leader in particular threatened to Boycott. That would give the people a place to point the blame. Best to keep the electorate guessing. You have no choice, you have to keep Liz out, for democracy’s sake.”

Consortium. “Right, we have no choice. If no one showed up, there’d be no leader’s debate. We have no other course of action, but to deny her right to participate - regardless of the ground rules.”

Steve. “. . . and remember, keep the electorate off-balance. Having no one to blame is critical.”

Consortium. “We won’t talk to Stephane then. We’ll get three of the parties to say they’d Boycott. That way, the public won’t be sure where the idea started in the first place. After all, you have the most to lose if she’s there. If everyone threatened to Boycott you’d take the heat.”

Steve. (chuckles). “Stephane will be stunned. He’ll probably Boycott that we’re boycotting the debate.”

Consortium. “Right, in fact, Jack and Stephane will take the hardest hits in the media because their constituents will expect them to take a stance loyal to the underdog.”

Steve. “If they do come to me, I’ll just say that letting the greens in, is a ploy cooked up between the liberals and the greens to get extra speaking time on the environment.”

Consortium. “The storm from this should all die down in a couple of days. Three max. If the media comes to you for a quote any time after today, just say it’s water under the bridge, you already talked about it. You have nothing more to say.”

Steve: ” . . . and we can’t afford another lawsuit. Its a demonstration of great leadership that I just keep quiet. If the Greens decide to try to fight this in court, they won’t know who to sue. By the time they figure that out, the debates will be over and we’ll have our majority. The first thing we’ll do is pass a bill that says anyone who has a flower in their logo, is female, lives on an island or drives a hybrid can’t participate in any National Leader’s Debate.”

Consortium. “That will make things easy for the future. Ok, so, we’ll say we decided not to invite her, because some of the parties threatened to Boycott.”

Steve. “That will work. After all, we wouldn’t want democracy to be put into the hands of the people. They’ll see its better to keep democracy in the hands of you media types. After all you need viewers. You don’t just do this for the goodwill of Canadians. It’s viewership that matters.”

Consortium. “Not exactly Steve. We hope no one watches the debates. No commercial revenue. We hope people are at home consuming our other media products like print and internet. If Liz is in the debate, viewership would skyrocket. That would be bad for business.”

Steve. “I get it. It’s bad for business and the political elite if Liz is in the debate. It’s bad for the people, democracy and the greens if she’s out!”

Consortium. “No need to flip a coin on this then. She’s out - for the best of Canadian Democracy.”

Someone wake me . . . I get the feeling that Canadian Democracy might be a dream.

addendum - Thankfully, the voices of ordinary Canadians rose up on blogs, in online comments of National publication web sites and were heard on radio call-in shows across the nation, leading Steve to back down on his threat to boycott the debates if Liz wasn’t allowed in. . . . as if the Tories would ever would miss the opportunity to try to split the left wing vote.

I for one, can’t wait to tune into the Leaders debate.